'You could have just gone and gotten rid of it yourself,' husband tells wife amid childcare dispute

A woman in her late 20s is considering divorce after her husband, who had insisted on having a child, began shirking parenting responsibilities and made shocking remarks about the pregnancy.

The woman's story was recently featured on attorney Yang Na-rae's YouTube channel. She is identified only as A and is raising a 19-month-old child.

A and her husband began living together early in their relationship and she became pregnant about six months in. At the time, she said she had not felt ready for marriage or parenthood. Her husband, however, pressed her to continue the pregnancy, telling her, "If you do anything to harm this child, we're done."

The couple married before their first anniversary and had the baby. "Up until the pregnancy and right after the birth, my husband was really good to me," A said. "He helped with housework and made an effort to look after the baby."

But his attitude changed around the time the child turned one, she said. He began expressing frustration with parenting — snapping "Why is the baby crying so much?" and "Keep it quiet" when the child cried after he came home from work. He also started coming home late on days when he had no overtime, she added.

When A confronted him — pointing out that she had continued the pregnancy because he had insisted he would take responsibility — he turned the tables and appeared to blame her for the pregnancy and birth.

According to A, her husband told her: "If you had taken better care of your body, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant," and "Even if I said no, you could have just gone by yourself and gotten rid of it. They say it's easy enough to do on your own these days."

A said those words left her completely cold toward him and that she is now considering divorce. She said she felt wronged that her husband had demanded she take responsibility for the child before the birth, only to act irresponsibly once the baby arrived.

Attorney Yang said that if evidence of the husband's remarks and behavior exists, filing for consolation damages should be possible. "Since the wife has been solely responsible for childcare and the husband has shown an irresponsible attitude toward the child, seeking custody and child support should also be viable," Yang said.

On the question of asset division, however, Yang cautioned that the outlook was less favorable. "Property held in the husband's parents' names would not be subject to division, and given the short length of the marriage, it would be difficult to argue that she contributed significantly to building or maintaining marital assets," Yang said.

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