Father falsely accused of child sex abuse after ex-wife coached daughter to lie, lawyer says

A man accused of child sexual abuse by his ex-wife has come forward seeking help to clear his name. He said he received a text from his daughter's phone reading, "I know what you did, Dad. You're disgusting — don't ever contact me again," only to discover later that his ex-wife had coached the child into lying and filed a complaint against him for child sexual abuse.

The man, identified only as A, had his story featured Monday on YTN Radio's legal advice program "Cho In-seop's Counseling Center."

A said he and his wife had been a loving couple with no major complaints, but that his wife changed completely after their child was born. He said arguments arose over everyday matters when he tried to share childcare and household duties after work, and the couple gradually drifted apart, ultimately divorcing.

"My ex-wife was given custody and parental rights over our daughter, who was five at the time, and I agreed to pay monthly child support," he said. "We arranged for me to see my daughter every second and fourth Saturday for overnight visits, and I have never missed a child support payment."

About a year later, however, things changed when his ex-wife began seeing another man and remarried.

According to A, his ex-wife repeatedly postponed visits, citing reasons such as the child being sick or having hagwon schedules, and it became increasingly common for her to go silent on the day of a planned visit.

He went more than a year without seeing his daughter, and then a few months ago received a shocking call from a police station. His ex-wife had filed a complaint accusing him of child sexual abuse.

Shortly after, a text arrived from his daughter's phone: "I know what you did, Dad. You're disgusting — don't ever contact me again."

"I never did anything like that, and in my despair I even had thoughts of wanting to die," A said. "But not long ago, my daughter secretly called my mother and told her, 'Mom made me lie to the police ajeossi like that.'"

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"It seems my ex-wife forced our daughter to lie because she saw me as an obstacle to her new family," he said. He added that he could never forgive his ex-wife for putting their young daughter through something so horrific and that he wanted to clear his name.

Attorney Kwak Dong-ju said that because charges of sexual offenses against children are treated with great seriousness, A should seek legal counsel before his first police interview. Kwak advised him to gather materials documenting the circumstances of their visitation meetings — including family members who were present, locations, photos and messages — and said that what the daughter told her grandmother could serve as important circumstantial evidence.

Kwak also said that if the case is closed without charges, A could file a complaint against his ex-wife for false accusation.

However, Kwak added that a false accusation charge requires proof that the complainant knew the allegations were untrue and intended to have the other party criminally punished. If it is determined that the ex-wife genuinely believed her claims — even if they were objectively false — the charge may be difficult to establish, and separate legal review would be needed.

Kwak further advised that coaching a child into making false statements and turning the child against a parent could constitute "emotional abuse" under the Child Welfare Act. The conduct may also raise issues of interference with visitation rights, parental unfitness or violations of the Child Welfare Act — all of which would warrant review with a specialist.

"If the agreed-upon visitation continues to be obstructed, you can apply to the family court for a compliance order," Kwak said. "If interference with visitation or the inducement of false statements is confirmed, claims for damages or even a change of custody could be considered."