'I paid the entire W7.5m funeral bill alone' — then uncle demanded all the condolence money

A man who bore the full burden of his father's care and funeral costs on his own has shared how his uncle, who contributed nothing toward the expenses, afterward demanded all the condolence money received at the service.

The story was posted Monday on Remember, a workplace community app, under the title: "I paid the entire funeral bill myself, and now my uncle wants all the condolence money — am I wrong here?"

According to the author, identified only as A, his parents divorced when he was in middle school, after which his mother raised him and his younger sibling alone. His father provided no financial support.

A said he had seen his father only occasionally during holidays, but when his father suffered a cerebral hemorrhage in 2008, A took him in and personally cared for him. He noted that his father's siblings had no meaningful contact or bond with one another.

His father eventually died, and A handled the funeral arrangements as chief mourner. He paid the entire 7.5 million won ($5,660) in funeral costs out of his own pocket.

After the funeral, his uncle sent A his bank account number and demanded that A transfer all condolence money received — both contributions from clan members and money given by the uncle's own acquaintances.

"His logic was absurd — that money from his friends was all his, and that he was entitled to the clan contributions too," A wrote. "When I looked into it, I found that under Supreme Court precedent, condolence money is supposed to go first toward covering the chief mourner's funeral expenses, with any remainder distributed only after that."

A said he had initially considered deducting the funeral costs proportionally before transferring anything, but decided he did not want a prolonged dispute. He ultimately transferred only 350,000 won — the amount given by six of the uncle's acquaintances — and told him: "This settles the funeral accounts. Do not contact me again."

"It's wearing and deeply disheartening," A wrote, "to see a relative who ignored me as a child and never once helped care for my father show up at the funeral home not to share the burden, but just to take money."

Readers who came across the post largely sided with A. "Cutting off a relative like that is the right call," one commenter wrote. Others advised him to "think of it as cheaply getting rid of someone who adds nothing to your life" and urged him to "stop dwelling on it and get some rest."