Man who endured 25 years of wife's debt and abuse seeks divorce — only to face pension split demand

A man who spent decades enduring his wife's debt and verbal abuse has resolved to divorce her — only to find himself blindsided by her demands for a share of his pension and retirement allowance.

The story was shared Monday on YTN Radio's legal advice program "Jo In-seop's Counseling Office."

The man, identified only as A, has taught at a school for 25 years. He met his wife in college and married her before beginning his teaching career. "My wife took investment money from an acquaintance and jumped into business," he said. "At first it seemed to be going smoothly, but she was badly defrauded and ultimately had to shut it down." He said she went on to try several more ventures, all of which failed, leaving the couple with mounting debt. "I worked, raised two children and handled all the housework while she was consumed by her business and paid almost no attention to any of it," he said. "And that was not all — when she got angry, she would throw things and hurl insults at me."

He said he stayed in the marriage for the sake of their children. "I endured 25 years, shouldering even the debt from her failed businesses," he said. "After a long time thinking it over, I made up my mind to divorce."

His concern now centers on the division of assets. "Most of what we had saved together disappeared as I paid off her debts," he said. "What is left is essentially two apartments — one in my name and another registered under my sister-in-law's name because of my wife's business liabilities."

He added that his wife is arguing only the apartment in his name should be subject to division, while excluding the one under her sister's name. She is also demanding a share of his civil servant pension and retirement allowance, he said.

Attorney Kim Mi-ru of law firm Shinsegae Law said case law supports the wife's pension claim, even if the circumstances feel deeply unfair to A. "Under precedent, retirement benefits defined by the Act on the Guarantee of Workers' Retirement Benefits, the Public Officials Pension Act, the Military Pension Act and the Private School Teachers Pension Act are all considered assets built through the joint efforts of both spouses and can be subject to division," she said. "I understand there is much that feels unjust here, and it does appear the wife has substantially depleted the couple's assets — but given that they were married for more than 25 years, the projected retirement pension is subject to division."

Kim offered a practical tip. "Because there are many circumstances that weigh in the man's favor, if both parties can reach an agreement at the mediation stage — taking into account each person's contributions — and mutually waive their pension claims against each other, he can protect his pension entitlement," she said. "It would be worth knowing that option exists."

On the retirement allowance, Kim said it is subject to asset division but cannot be claimed separately through the National Pension Service under pension law. "However, because it is included in the scope of divisible assets, it can appear on the asset schedule," she explained.

Regarding the apartment registered in the sister-in-law's name, Kim said it would only be treated as a divisible asset if there is objective evidence that the wife placed it in her sister's name as a title trust. "Because it is formally registered to another person, it is difficult to include it in the division unless ownership is transferred by rescinding that title trust," she said.

She added, however, that if it can be confirmed the wife paid money toward acquiring that apartment, that amount could be viewed as a loan to the sister-in-law and may therefore be subject to division.