New hire's constant bathroom trips stress out team leader: 'Am I old-fashioned for asking them to say something first?'

A workplace supervisor's account of a new hire whose frequent bathroom breaks are disrupting the team's workflow has sparked debate online.

The post, titled "Am I being old-fashioned for asking my team member to tell me before going to the bathroom?" appeared recently on Remember, a workplace community platform.

The author, identified only as A, described themselves as relatively young for a team leader and said they have been stressed by a team member who joined two to three months ago and goes to the bathroom "like crazy."

"You might think, 'So what if they go to the bathroom?' — but the problem is that this person leaves their seat without a word whenever something needs to get done," A wrote. "They're never there when I need them, and if anything happened while they were away, I have to explain it all over again."

A eventually pulled the team member aside and asked why they went to the bathroom so often. The team member reportedly explained that they have something like irritable bowel syndrome and that anxiety also drives the trips.

"I looked it up and found there's no cure, so I tried to understand," A said. "At first it was just mildly annoying, but now I get genuinely angry at this person — and that makes me dislike myself."

A added that the frequency was "inhumane" — once an hour, sometimes twice — and asked for advice. "Am I being too harsh about a bodily function? If I tell them to let me know every time they go, does that make me a tyrant? At this point, I'm starting to think maybe I should just become one."

Reactions from other users were mixed. Some said the employee was going too far even if the supervisor risked being called out of touch, while others argued that bathroom habits are personal and beyond a manager's reach. Several warned that interfering could expose the supervisor to a workplace harassment complaint, and at least one suggested handling task instructions through email or a messaging app instead.