Woman who raised husband's child from first marriage blindsided by his affair — and then his fists

A woman who married a divorced man and lovingly raised his child from his previous marriage has shared how her husband's repeated infidelity ultimately destroyed their family.

According to a story featured Monday on YTN Radio's legal advice program "Jo In-seop's Counseling Office," the woman, identified only as A, first met her husband at work. She said she was drawn to his good looks and easy charm, even as friends warned her he seemed like a womanizer. He already had a child from a previous marriage, and after A became pregnant, the two wed. She said she raised his child from the first marriage with the same care she gave her own.

"A few years later, I found out my husband was having an affair with a junior colleague," A said. "For the sake of the children, I decided not to divorce but to hold both of them accountable. Through a lawyer, we drew up an agreement stating they would never meet or contact each other again, with a penalty clause for any violation." The husband, however, contacted the other woman just two days after signing the agreement and checked into a lodging with her two weeks later. "Far from showing any remorse, he blamed me, saying it happened because I had been neglecting him while preparing for a promotion exam," A said.

She said she was eventually left with no choice but to raise the subject of divorce. "When I did, my husband came home drunk, hurled abuse at the children, and said to the child from his first marriage — the one I had raised with love — 'Did you know she's not your real mother?' Those words caused deep wounds," A said. She added that on the day she tried to go to the hospital, shaken by the incident, her husband struck her in the face and kicked her in the stomach. She said she required treatment for a concussion.

"I wanted out of the relationship as fast as possible," A said. "I rushed through a mutual-consent divorce and stamped the papers having only roughly settled the matter of the children, without even determining the division of assets or alimony." Years have since passed, she said, but her ex-husband has not paid child support or education expenses. "Even though several years have passed since the divorce, can I still claim asset division and alimony? Can I also receive child support and education expenses?" she asked.

Attorney Bae Bo-ram of Shinsegae Law Firm, who reviewed the case, said that agreeing to a mutual-consent divorce does not automatically extinguish the right to claim asset division or alimony. "However, there are deadlines," she said. "A claim for asset division must be filed within two years of the date the divorce is finalized. For alimony, the claim must be filed within three years of the date the victim learned of the harm and the perpetrator, or within 10 years of the date the wrongful act occurred — whichever comes first. If the infidelity or assault took place long ago, the 10-year long-term statute of limitations should also be checked."

"In this case, the primary responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage lies with the husband," Bae said. "Since the infidelity was repeated even after the agreement was signed and was accompanied by physical assault, the likelihood of an alimony award is high."

She added that given the husband's responsibility for the marriage breakdown and the fact that A has had to raise the children alone since the divorce, "it is entirely reasonable to argue for a contribution of more than 50 percent in the asset division as well."

Bae also said that if the child support arrangement set at the time of the mutual-consent divorce no longer fits the current circumstances, A can petition the family court to modify it. "However, a modification is not granted simply because one party is unhappy with the agreed terms or the other party has failed to pay," she said. "The court determines whether a change is necessary based on the best interests of the child."